Not So Happy Holidays...

Holiday celebrations are normally a time for family togetherness, fun, and laughter. To a child or individual with social, learning, or behavioral differences, though, this time of year can be extremely stressful and uncomfortable. Contact with distant relatives, family acquaintances, and strangers who don't understand them like Mom and Dad do can cause children impacted by disabilities to melt down or blow up if the pressure reaches a critical level. Compliments of LDOnline.org, here are some tips on how to make the parties, dinners, and get-togethers more manageable for your family, guests, and most importantly, your child.

1. Encourage your child to make unique gifts utilizing his or her special talents.

For example, you might help your whiz-kid daughter create and send an online greeting card or your Emeril inspired son make scrumptious holiday treats in the kitchen.

2. Show your child pictures of guests before they arrive.

Even just reviewing the names of those who will be in attendance, how your child knows them, and how they are related or aquainted with each other and your family will prepare your child for the oncoming hustle and bustle in the house.

3. Role-play different scenarios with your child.

You can practice almost any situation your child might find him or herself in over the holidays: Greeting guests at the door, receiving a present graciously, and thanking others by name can all be part of the pre-holiday prep. Best of all, your child will gain confidence and self esteem by feeling prepared.

4. Be honest with your family.

Sometimes the best defense is a good offense. If you have extended family that you don't see often, you may want to talk with them about how your child's specific disability or difference can manifest itself. If Great Aunt Edna knows ahead of time that Jimmy's impulsiveness could cause him to interrupt, GAE may not be as angry or offended when Jimmy disrupts her story about Fluffly with a comment about his friend's cat. Letting your guests know in advance how your son or daughter may react to the stress and excitement of the holidays may eliminate some uncomfortable or embarrassing sitautions.

5. Give your child the opportunity to shine.

You can always have your child perform tasks that have already been mastered for the guests at your home. Cooking, handing out gifts, or leading a game, may provide your child a comfortable opportunity to contribute in a way that is meaningful to him/her.

6. Tactfully make accomodations for your child's difficulties.

If a child has trouble reading before a group, ask the first few people who open gifts to avoid reading cards aloud. Hand your child her gift and say, “This is from Uncle John." You can also set aside alone time so your child has time to decompress. If your son or daughter has difficulty interpreting humor, you can always explain the joke at a later time or restate the punchline in different language for your child while laughing along. This discretely brings your child into the communication without calling attention to the fact that he or she did not "get it" the first time.

7. Consciously include your child in conversations by asking his/her opinion or setting up an opportunity for your child to tell a story.

Most children have difficulty participating in grown up conversations, so by offering him or her a chance to contribute can bring a surge in confidence.

While you probably make these adjustments unconsciouly now, it's important to actively implement opportunities such as these for your child during this busy time of year. Taking the time to explain to others what you already know about your child is worth the minute or two it will take and will likely prevent a great deal of stress for your child. Use a child's strengths to his or her advantage instead of focusing on the negatives. For more tips like these, see the full article on LDonline by Dale Brown.